Posts tagged ‘sarcasm’

January 4, 2011

Blurbs from the Land of Chimpanzees – January edition

by Gina

“Josh Groban Sings Kanye’s Tweets”
– This was typed (clicky) rather than spoken, but it is absolutely hilarious. The title of the article was more attention grabbing (in a weird way) than funny, even though it did make me immediately think of bizarre insults or something Josh and Kanye should have kept behind closed doors. The video included in the article is definitely worth viewing – even if you’re not a Josh Groban fan!

“If you don’t offer shipping, how am I supposed to ship this to my relatives?”
– At a seasonal mall kiosk. The lady was, with more courtesy than I could have mustered, very kindly referred to three places: the post office, UPS, Fed-Ex. She still insisted that a seasonal, low-budget mall kiosk with limited facilities and resources should offer shipping – as a *free* service.

December 29, 2010

Blurbs from the Land of Chimpanzees

by Gina

Just a few things I’ve heard recently that were a little strange and funny to me. The first in what I hope to be an irregular series of posts… Why? Because it makes me laugh.

“When I die, I‘m going to turn into a grox [Dr. Seuss creature]. Then I’m going to rule the world!”
– by 4 year old Girl Spawn. Not entirely sure why she’s thinking about death or ruling the world at her age, but it made me laugh. It also made me wonder if she’ll need therapy in a few years

“Do you have a napkin I can borrow?”
– You can’t borrow one. You can have one, though. I don’t want it back!

“The white man purchased Alaska in 1969!”
– Said by a pasty white guy who claims to have been raised in Alaska. Hey Mister, you might want to subtract 102 years from that date. By the way, what color were the people who sold Alaska to the US?

December 28, 2010

I try to be good, but I get bored

by Gina

Reading over the posts I’ve made so far, I’ve realized that my blog is very quickly becoming rather boring. And why should it be anything else? It is, after-all, a reflection of my life and my life has been less than exciting the past few weeks. I don’t get out much. I should change that.

The picture to the left is a very good likeness of my current expression. The two differences are:

1. I’m not bald

2. I don’t have that much color in my cheeks (yes, the genetics of my family have made it possible to be more pale than white)

On an exciting note, roller derby season is right around the corner! February 5th marks the day of Kansas City Roller Warriors first bout of the year. I’ll be buying season tickets this year, I think. Now to find one person who can go with me to all five bouts, or five people who can go to one bout.

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